After experiencing trauma, people tend to think that they’re broken – that something is wrong with them and it can’t be fixed.
What they don’t realize is that they can heal and they can thrive.
Let me explain.
Recently, as I was planting some very root-bound asparagus plants, I realized how transplanting is like healing from trauma.
For example, I had just planted a bunch of young root crowns, and each of those got its own little pile of compost, with roots spread out evenly, and then gently covered up and watered.
These plants are growing in an “ideal” environment.
As you might expect, within a few weeks, baby asparagus shoots came up from all eleven of them! (Proud mama moment!)
Compare that to those three pots of root-bound asparagus plants. Each of these pots had roots growing out through the holes at the bottom of the pot, and the pots were warping from the pressure of roots against the sides.
The plants were still growing, but their environment was no longer ideal for them.
To release the plants, I had to cut off the pots. You can see in the picture how crowded those roots were!
This is us after experiencing trauma.
To transplant the root-bound asparagus plants, I could have chosen the “quick and easy” route – just stick the plant into the ground pretty much the same way I did for the young root crowns. The plants would have grown, but they’d still be constrained by the shape of the pot even though the pot was no longer there.
This is us trying to live in the world without addressing our trauma.
Even in a new and more supportive environment, we can’t be fully authentic if we are still reacting to the trauma, just like the asparagus root ball would be unable to fully benefit from the new environment.
To help the asparagus benefit from the new environment, I worked with each plant one at a time to release the roots from the root ball.
It was hard work, and it took a long time. Often, roots were twisted together, and some of them broke as I tried to work them loose. Most of the roots still showed the impact from the pot – they had bends and weak spots and “bounced back” to their old positions in the root ball until I packed some soil around them to help them grow into a new pattern.
In the end the untangling allowed each root to spread out and have access to fresh soil and water so they could grow into strong healthy plants.
Healing from trauma is like this.
It’s hard! It takes a long time, and it is often painful. We can feel bruised and even broken. It’s normal to fall back into the comfort of your old familiar pot, even though you know that’s what you are trying to escape.
But the outcome is worth the effort.
Each root you untwist, each old thought pattern you unravel – it all helps you become a resilient person that can be authentic in the world.
This is the work we do at InterMission.
The horses create a safe space where you can do the hard work of intentional healing. It gives you the opportunity to unwind the complicated triggers and reactions created by trauma.
The horses help you sit with discomfort and actively choose how to respond to it.
This process allows your nervous system to create new thought patterns that match the authentic person you want to be.
This work is hard. It takes time. It will be painful.
It will change your life.
